Girl Meets Food

This post contains content that might be disturbing to sensitive viewers.  You’ve been warned. Overhead, Frankie Valli sings Sherry Baby, followed by Woo Hoo, by the 5, 6, 7, 8’s. Pachinko machines line the back wall, along with pictures of old movie stars. In the storage room, a friendly yet sinister-looking clown guards cases of imported Japanese beer. Ken Noli and I are at Kenka in The East Village. Like most New York restaurants, Kenka offers something unique and unusual. This loud, funky, fast-paced izakaya is a glimpse into Tokyo on a warm summer night. Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto is a fan. If you like to see what you’re eating, Kenka has a picture menu in great detail—a large, illustrated book with seven samurai, challenging you to order or prepare to die. If you like to see what you’re eating, you probably shouldn’t eat here.  But if you accept the challenge, you are rewarded with pan-fried beef intestines, sea cucumbers, and calf’s liver sashimi.  There are also french fries. In addition to authentic Japanese bar food, Kenka is known for cheap beer.  Get a 24-ounce can of imported Asahi for only $5.  That’s taller than most Japanese people. We order the bull penis, fried whole frog, and salmon sashimi. “Ah, all the weird stuff, eh?” the server replies with a mix of surprise and admiration. First to arrive is the dismembered member.  There it lies, pale and forlorn, on a whisper-soft bed of radish.  The only color comes from the ginger-miso sauce and a garnish. I make the first slice.  Beads of perspiration dot Ken Noli’s brow. Bull penis is not what I expected.  It’s firm, creamy, and has a soft snap.  The ginger-miso is too salty and distracting.  Upon dissection, I see that the penis is mostly a core of cartilage, also pale white.  Which leads me to do further research.  A bull with a permanent erection? If you look closely at the left side of the picture below, you’ll see the head of the penis is covered by an integumentary penile sheath.  In other words, a long-ass flappy foreskin.  At the end of this sheath is a hole from which the erect penis would protrude before mating (something this poor boy will never do again). The taste isn’t bad.  It is a little bland, but I actually enjoy cartilage when I find it in pig’s feet, Vietnamese pho, and fried chicken wings.  It is the thought of it I find disturbing.  I don’t ever want to be that intimate with a cow ever again. Next, the frog arrives looking like it got caught in a trap Arnold Schwarzenegger set for The Predator.  Battered on skewers, it sleeps eternally on a bed of curly lettuce, with a lemon wedge for a pillow. This would actually be the first time I eat frog, unless you count the time my sister tricked me in high school.  But that’s a story for another time. There isn’t much to eat on a frog except the well-developed thighs.  The last time I saw thighs this powerful was on Arnold in that hot Vanity Fair spread. Like chicken wings, fried frog legs are crispy, crunchy, and tender.  And yes, it tastes like chicken.  Yet they’re so tiny, it’s unsatisfying. Next time, I’ll just order a bucket o’ wings from KFC. At the end of our meal, we’re given little cups of sugar to pour into Kenka’s outdoor cotton candy machine.  Spin the chopsticks around and around, and voilà! Like my dinner wasn’t enough of a carnival. I have to say Kenka is my most adventurous meal to date, even by my standards.  But I’m glad I tried bovine genitalia and pond dwellers.  That’s as close to rustic as I’ll ever get. Kenka 25 Saint Marks Place New York, NY 10003 212.254.6363 Open Sunday through Thursday 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Friday & Saturday 6 p.m. to 4 a.m. Reservations are highly recommended.

Like what you're reading? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get the latest and the best of D.C.'s dining scene delivered to your desktop absolutely free!

Stroll down the streets of Red Hook, New York, and you’ll pass by houses, bars, artists’ studios and stacks of industrial cargo containers by the dock where the Queen Mary 2 rests.

The Red Hook Lobster Pound flagship store in Brooklyn.

Among this eclectic mix of businesses in Brooklyn is the Red Hook Lobster Pound, where Susan Povich and her husband Ralph Gorman have been selling New England-style lobster rolls for over a year.

Business has been wildly successful.  Ralph dutifully drives up to Maine several times a week so that Red Hook Lobster Pound can sell over 400 pounds of lobster meat a week, plus thousands of live lobsters that fill up two giant tanks in the store.

I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan to get the scoop on the exciting arrival of D.C.’s first lobster truck.  (Follow them here on Twitter.)

When asked why she doesn’t use lobster tails—presumably the best part—in her rolls, Susan says, “The tails are too tough. Even chefs will tell you that the knuckle is the best part. Hard to get out, but the best.”

And Susan should know. She and Ralph D.C. operator Leland Morris both attended culinary school—she at The French Culinary Institute, he at The Culinary Institute of America—and have strong connections to Maine and Washington, D.C.

Susan’s grandfather is the late Shirley Povich, who grew up in Bar Harbor, Maine, then moved to D.C. where he became “a sports writer at the Washington Post for 75 years,” says grandson David Douglas Povich, a prominent Washington attorney and partner in the new venture.  “He put his last column in the mailbox on the day he died at age ninety-two.”

Connecticut-style, top; Maine-style, bottom

Now the D.C. native returns to her roots to launch the Red Hook Lobster Pound truck.  The menu includes lobster rolls served two ways for around $17, as well as shrimp rolls and desserts.

Susan promises that the lobster rolls in D.C. will be the same kind they sell in Brooklyn.

First, a fluffy-soft, signature split-top J.J. Nissen roll is butter-toasted on both sides.  Then meaty, succulent whole claw and knuckle meat is piled high.

Served Connecticut-style, it’s hot and lightly tossed with drawn butter.  Like a decadent lobster dinner in the palm of your hand.  Or try it chilled Maine-style, lightly folded into lemony homemade mayonnaise. Refreshing and so satisfying on a warm summer afternoon.

The Red Hook Lobster Pound truck will serve all of D.C., with plans to operate during weekdays and weekends, giving everyone a chance to experience the real thing.

At the date of this post, the truck is being beautified and picked up in Texas, and should hit the streets by the first or second week of August.  Watch for the launch by following the Red Hook Lobster Pound on Twitter or Facebook.

Red Hook Lobster Pound
284 Van Brunt Street
Brooklyn, NY 11231
646.326.7650

Spring business hours are Wednesday through Sunday 12 to 7 p.m.

La Petite Grocery is a New Orleans restaurant housed in a former grocery store which sold fresh butter, coffee, which was roasted in the store; and imported teas.

La Petite Grocery’s Executive Chef Justin Devillier cooks in a manner appropriate to New Orleans spirit—French bistro with a Southern twist!

Try La Petite Grocery’s baked blue crab brie and chives served au gratin; bibb lettuce fried oysters, applewood smoked bacon and crème fraiche dressing; or seared duck breast with caramelized turnips, pearl onions, raab and spiced jus.

In the mood for a cocktail?  How about the Revolutionary—Absinthe rinse, Sazerac Rye, Crème de Cocoa and Crème de Menthe.

La Petite Grocery
Reserve now
4238 Magazine St
New Orleans, LA 70115
(504) 891-3377