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It hasn’t been this hot since 1874.  Seriously, check it out. In those days, pre-industrial cooling came in the form of a tall glass of brisk iced tea.  Is there anything more refreshing?  Just imagine the sound of ice cubes clanking against glass and you’ll feel frosty all over, even in your most warmest parts. Before you muster another weakened grunt of disapproval, take that last bit of energy you have and signal the nearest bartender.  I’ll take mine spiked.

An incubator for bacon enthusiasts, The Pig suggests the Napoleon ($11) for washing down all that porky goodness.  Mint sweet tea and High West bourbon-rye is mixed with lemon and vanilla bean syrup for a cocktail that is my-tea-leaf-fine.  1320 14th Street NW, Washington DC. 202.290.2821

The Bramble & Thorn ($12, pictured) at Black Jack is antioxidant-rich with rooibos tea-infused corn whiskey, Wilder Bros Blackberry Soda, Leopold Brothers Blackberry liquor, mint and lemon.  Why, a couple of these and you’ll have a radiant, youthful glow.  That’s what we’re calling it.  1612 14th Street NW, Washington DC. 202.986.5225

Oh, ho, ho…there’s a joke about gingers and red bush in here, I’m certain.  Blue Duck Tavern’s sweet and fizzy Kentuckian Rooibos ($14) blends house-made rooibos-infused dry vermouth, ginger beer, Maker’s Mark and eureka lemon.  😀  1201 24th Street (at M) NW Washington, DC. 202.419.6755

Tabard Inn attempts to reverse climate change with the Dial Tiki for Climate Concerns ($12), a blend of echinacea tea, dark rum, Spanish brandy, Oloroso sherry, a bit of honey and fresh orange and lime juices.  1739 N Street NW, Washington DC. 202.331.8528

The Fastest 2 Minutes ($12) belong to Helix Lounge, where they mix English Breakfast tea syrup with Maker’s Mark and a sprig of mint in 120 seconds flat.  1430 Rhode Island Avenue NW, Washington, DC. 202.462.9001

Photo: Daniel Swartz for Revamp.com