[fts_instagram instagram_id=3444010 access_token=3444010.da06fb6.e45747555b80458da54222a9a3c759c3 pics_count=6 type=user profile_wrap=no super_gallery=yes columns=1 force_columns=no space_between_photos=0px icon_size=65px hide_date_likes_comments=no]

Wow, last night was a doozy.  You ended up making Riot Punch with whatever was left in everyone’s red Solo cups, went home with that too-gorgeous guy who in the end, couldn’t get it up, and your ex’s current girlfriend showed up looking like a drag queen that the cat dragged in, which was the single, most satisfying form of validation you got all year. As you trade war stories at brunch today, just think.  It’s a fresh year with a fresh start.  And you are never…ever…drinking…again.
No matter how big a shitshow it was, it was a bigger one for these animals.  What’s a party without crashers who end up pissing off the neighbors?  Take these beer-guzzling cows. Or these bad-news bears that had the “stench of a right old piss up, trash, and bears.” Somebody call Tatum O’Neil!  It’s all fun and games until someone goes berserker, right?  Are these pachyderms drunk or on PCP?!  Call the cops!

STORIES YOU'LL LOVE