Girl Meets Food

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You love to hate them, those touristy spots you begrudgingly take your out-of-town relatives to. You know, the ones where you wouldn’t be caught dead in if not for your cousin visiting from Iowa who’s never had a burrito before.

Photo: Joshua Yospyn

As the Cherry Blossom Festival marks the arrival of the year’s first stampede of tourists, these are the places to pay attention to (or avoid).

I once brought my parents to that awful place they call a Mongolian grill and I still have the scars to prove it. But if you ask, I’ll deny it.

So why do we keep carting people to places like that? Can’t we do better than that, DC?! This list is only my opinion, but see if you can do better:

10. Filomena – Pasta mamas, really? I think these chicks are from Cherry Hill, New Jersey.1063 Wisconsin Avenue NW, Washington, DC. 202.338.8800.
9. Fogo de Chão – Meat buffets are popular with tourists, large groups…and packs of hyenas. Just sayin’. 1101 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC. 202.347.4668.
8. Lincoln’s Waffle Shop – Popular with locals as well as tourists, this place churns out admittedly decent, cheap waffles. 504 10th Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.638.4008.
7. La Tasca Gallery Place – Fun fact: The sign in Chinese simply says, “Spanish Restaurant.” It’s almost accurate. 722 7th Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.347.9190.
6. Buca de Beppo – Where do I even begin? 1825 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington, DC. 202.232.8466.
5. Old Ebbitt Grill – Unfortunately, this place has amazing oysters, but the vibe is…dated. 675 15th Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.347.4800.
4. Sequoia – Let’s be honest. They should just turn this restaurant into a giant singles bar complete with rooms by the hour and call it a day. 3000 K Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.944.4200.
3. Tony Cheng’s – There’s no good Mongolian food in town, including here. 619 H Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.371.8669.
2. Hard Rock Café – Like the dream of a Guns N’ Roses comeback, this place just won’t die. 999 E Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.737.7625.

And the Number #1 Washington DC Trap for Hungry Tourists:

1. Phillips Flagship Restaurant – It amazes me that year after year, people still come here for the saddest, most tasteless seafood that ever lined the ocean floor. 900 Water Street SW, Washington DC. 202.488.8515.

What’s your Number #1 tourist trap in the city?

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